I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
