I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
