just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
