New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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