I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
