Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
