In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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