he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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