Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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