I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize