I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I could fuck to npr.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
