It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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