We're facebook friends in real life
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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