I don't usually arrange sex via text message
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
MIDGETS
????
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
