wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
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