You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
