Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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