Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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