Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
