I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
