I just cut my nipple shaving
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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