So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize