Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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