The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
