Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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