Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
