spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
