Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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