Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
