i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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