She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
