too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
