On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
