Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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