There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
