she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
