do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
