you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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