How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
