If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
