I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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