If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
