when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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