Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
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