She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
it's like heaven, but drunker
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
