he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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