Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
