Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
