The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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