I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
