She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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