At least make sure they are 18
Why
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
