The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
