I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
